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Friday, 6 February 2004
Well it's over, my parade has been pissed on, my bubble has been burst. He's coming out here, but not to be with me, he's not going to stay with me. I probably won't even see him before Em jumps down his pants. Like it matters anyway. I've spent 9 months loving this guy, being in love with this guy, doing nothing but being the girl I thought every guy would like to try and salvage something of this and to no avail. I don't really think I even want to see him. I'd rather live with my little fantasy I've been nursing for so long. It's just more comforting that way. So I may just avoid the whole situation alltogether. I think it may be in my best interests to do so. All I know is that I can't just sit here and watch this. I can't just sit here and let this happen to me. I just can't sit here and watch it. So is this my fate? My punishment? To watch every guy I've ever loved just go on and be happy without me? When is it my time? When do I have a day in the sun??? I thought maybe, this time but I keep sayin to myself, "Yeah right Lel, you know your life better than this"
Posted by thewonderlandpress
at 5:10 PM EST
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